Travel

We are thinking of traveling with Lillia again. First would be the relatively short trip to the Bay Area to visit with Lillia’s grandma Bonnie, then later this year to New Zealand to check out that part of the world. Suzanne and I have decided that parenthood is no reason to stop traveling, and New Zealand is a place we have always wanted to visit.

Now, some may consider voluntarily traveling with an infant to be foolish behavior, perhaps a “cry for help” on some level, best medicated and spoken of in hushed tones.

Nonsense. While it is true that Lillia , when in fire alarm mode, requires endless marching up and down airline aisles, and while it is true as well that traveling to New Zealand will take a minimum of 15 hours, what is this compared to the enrichment our new daughter will gain through exposure to pinched accents, kiwis, and non-rabid short-tailed bats?

Here are some pictures from our last trip, to New Jersey in May to visit grandma Joan.

Peekaboo!

Aunt Janet, Lillia and Joan

Toddling in Joan's kitchen

Hangin' with Joan

Suzanne and Joan, getting some well deserved rest.

Foodplay

Suzanne here, with Lillia's new suggestions for fun things to do with food:

1) Lillia recommends this one for beginners. You simply hold the food object out over the edge of the tray and let go. It should land on the floor with a satisfying splat.

2) A more advanced technique. Stuff your mouth with food until your cheeks bulge. Masticate well. Then blurp the whole slimy bolus out onto your bib. (Okay, blurp isn't a real word, but it should be.)

3) This is a technique that works especially well for soft foods such as oatmeal, yogurt, or pureed anything. Refrain from swallowing until you have a good mouthful, then expell forcefully with a loud farty noise. This will spatter the tray, Mommy, and anything else within a two-foot radius.

4) Lillia's current favorite. Chew any food well. Then stick your fingers way into your mouth and pull it out again and
a) mash onto the tray, or
b) smear in your hair.

5) Oh yeah, food can also be swallowed. This is strictly for losers.

P.S. Tom wasn't kidding-- I really did catch Lillia gnawing on the kitchen cabinets. You can still see the little teeth marks.

Lillia Walked Today!

I came home to find Lillia and Suzanne standing in the dining room, Suzanne leaning against a chest and Lillia holding onto the dining table leg. Suzanne started telling me about Lillia's nap when the little girl, with no encouragement, suddenly let go of the table leg and toddled over to me in about seven steps. Daddy gave her a big hug and Mommy jumped up and down.

More excitement later.

Tom

Cavegirl

Lillia is entering toddlerhood. In The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Dr. Harvey Karp describes toddlerfication as a process in which infants gradually emerge from their monkey-like, protosocial state. First, they develop into early caveman-like Australopithecoids who agree, in general, that it is better not to poop in the eating area next to the fire or in the part of the cave designated for sleeping. Next comes Neanderthal and Cromagnon stages with their slowly advancing social skills and better abilities to control their primitive impulses ("use your INDOOR voice when biting the dog, dear"), and, eventually, the tykes develop into little village people. Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny on the social as well as the biological level, and soon together we all sing "“YMCA"” while performing silly dance moves.

But whether or not androgeny truly recapitulates philosophy, Lillia has developed into a little cavegirl. She chews her food carefully and sputters out between her lips what she has stored in her cheeks, forming multicolored designs on the kitchen floors and walls. She has developed a finely-tuned sense of personal ownership, acknowledging that Mommy's purse is hers to empty and Daddy'’s paper is hers to tear and eat, and responding to limit setting with howls of outrage.

We still love her, of course. More than ever, really. Even when she screams about the unfairness of not being allowed to play with glass or sharp objects, or not being allowed to play with goose poop in the park. I'’m dealing with the shark patrol conundrum by only sticking my finger in her mouth when absolutely necessary, like the other day when she decided to bite off a piece of a crumpled aluminum foil ball that I thought was safe to let her play with.

Anyway, more pictures:

Me and Lilli with Elayna and mom Judy from our travel group to China. We are at the CCAI 12th Annual Reunion. There were many parents, lots and lots of kids, booths representing international schools for immersion Mandarin bilingual education in Denver, dragon dancing entertainment, and loud, LOUD music.

Jason, our excellent guide and translator in Guangzhou, was visiting the US for the first time.

Singing Happy Birthday at Lillia's first.

Birthday Cake!

Molding cake into a more interesting objet d'art.

Her Caveness.

Spatterart with yogurt and cantaloupe.

Hanging out with Tani and mom Sally. The dowry is still being negotiated.

Love to all,

Tom

Shark Patrol

When Lillia bites, she bites hard. This is not an unusual event in the life of a one-year-old though it caught us by surprise.
***
Act 1, Scene 1. Enter Lillia, stage left, crawling about living room floor as her slightly addled older parents watch her in deep admiration. Lillia moves about floor in Roomba fashion, putting shoes, pens, magazines, objets d’art and other interesting items in her mouth, complaining bitterly whenever they are taken away or placed out of her reach.

Suzanne: Oh look, Tom, Lillia is kissing mommy’s toes.

Tom (laughing): HO HO! It appears that our daughter has developed a cute new foot fetish.

Suzanne (screaming): Ow! No! Stop! Don’t bite!
***
Act 1, Scene 2. Naptime in the Nursery. Tom is holding a smiling, laughing Lillia as the nap turtle plays a lullaby in the background.

Tom: Oh, how sweet. You want to give daddy a good night kiss.

Suzanne: Tom, I’d be careful if I were you…

Tom: Ow! No! Stop! Don’t bite!
***
Act 1, Scene 3. In the bathroom.

Suzanne (warily): One of us has to brush her teeth.

Tom: Or so the dental police would have you believe.

Suzanne: Look, we have to do this. And she only has seven of them.

Tom: Which she uses to quite good effect.

Suzanne: Tom…

Tom: Suzanne, you’re the one who saw her gnawing on the kitchen cabinets this morning. I swear the girl is developing a dorsal fin. I’d be afraid to go in the water if I came across her at the beach.

Suzanne (louder, holding Lillia): TOM!

Tom (with finger toothbrush in Lillia’s mouth): Ow! No! Stop! Don’t bite!”
***
The books say that this is a stage (yes, all the world's a stage) that she is going through, and to overreact is to provide reinforcement. So Suzanne and I are keeping it cool, wearing shoes and long-sleeve shirts and re-enforced gloves, watching for signs of her dorsal fin receding.

I will continue to update this blog as long as I have fingers left to do so.

Tom

Godzilla

Every night, around 9 o’clock, Lillia decides it is time to become Godzilla and rampage through Tokyo. In a way it makes sense, given the deep-seated animosity between China and Japan stretching back to the Sino-Japanese war. Still the transformation is intense, with Lillia growing an impressive tail and green scales. And her roar is quite convincing. She needs help getting going, and we have not actually let her destroy Tokyo yet (Suzanne and I both feel quite strongly that current trade disputes need to be worked out through normal channels), but when this little girl is ready, not much will stop her.

Dancing

Lillia and me dancing; she lets me lead.

Telluride

Tom here. Suzanne, Lillia and I are up in the mountains visiting out friend Cynthia in Telluride. What would otherwise be a seven hour drive became a ten hour drive with the squirmy one who-must-be-obeyed requesting frequent breaks. Lillia was up late last night, waking frequently crying, not wanting to be put back down. It was probably a combination of altitude (Telluride is at 8975 feet) and discomfort from her diaper rash. But adding a nystatin cream to her usual barrier ointment seems to be turning things around quickly in terms of the rash, and as far as the altitude goes, we will be back down soon.

Lillia likes driving when all four windows are rolled down and the wind blows past her car seat. She holds her arms out as if she is flying and smiles.

Two photos from the trip.

Lillia and me on the telluride gondola.

Lillia and Suzanne, with camel.

Some Thoughts on China

Suzanne here. It’s hard to believe we got home from China just over a month ago. It seems like ages. Time seems to slow down when you’re watching someone change from day to day--learning how to eat Cheerios, sprouting new teeth, taking her first few steps with her hands held.

So I just wanted to mention a few last things about the China trip before it gets buried in the landfill that is my brain.

First of all, we had a blast in China. I’d been there three times before, in the early to mid-eighties, and these trips were all very interesting but I would not call them enjoyable. Back then the people were not terribly friendly. As a single white person in out-of-the-way places, I would often draw crowds of slack-jawed gawkers, but smiles were rarely returned. Things were very different this time. Whenever we were away from Shamian Island, where the hotel is, we wore cards around our necks that read, in Chinese and English, “We are from United States, we come to China to adopt our beautiful daughter. She is from Yangchun, Guangdong. We love her very much and will take good care of her! Thank you!” Whenever anyone eyed us curiously, we would show them the cards. This always elicited a warm smile and a thumbs-up.

This may seem trivial by comparison, but the food is WAY better. Those of you who know me know that good food is almost as vital to me as air and water. On my previous trips, I lost a lot of weight because there was just nothing worth eating. I remember getting a hankering for a cold beer in Guilin in 1981, and being unable to find one because refrigeration was non-existent. I don’t know what it’s like in the rest of China; Guangzhou is a special case, being one of the wealthiest cities in China and famous among the Chinese for its cuisine, but the food was terrific. We had great Thai and Vietnamese food as well as Cantonese. And you can definitely get a cold beer now.

But what made the trip most enjoyable were our wonderful CCAI reps, Maggie and Jason, and the twelve other families in our group. I’m always leery of group travel, especially in a developing country, and I kind of expected at least one couple to be stressed out and high-maintenance. But to my delight, everyone was really friendly, smart, funny, and relaxed. Unfortunately, our group is spread out across the country from L.A. to New Hampshire, so we won’t be seeing them as often as we’d like. But we’ll keep in touch by email and blog and occasional visits.


One last thing: In applying for her U.S. immigrant visa, we had to attest that Lillia had never been involved in espionage or terrorism. I’m sure you’ll all sleep better at night knowing this.

Feeding

Now that Lillia’s sleep schedule is on track, Suzanne and I have been working on food. Lillia was bottle propped at the orphanage: formula thickened with rice cereal, served hot, 60 to 70 degrees Celsius. The temperature was the first thing to go. I couldn’t bring myself to serve up a bottle for my daughter that was as hot as a cup of jasmine tea. She did fine on a 40 degree bottle (body temperature is 37 degrees Celsius) and did not sweat nearly as much. The excessive heat was probably a function of food safety. If I lived in Guandong province I would boil the tap water as well.

We continue to add rice cereal to her formula, though the practice is not without its detractors. The addition of cereal makes each feeding more calorically dense, but the density is from additional carbohydrates rather than adding a balance of proteins and carbs and fats. Some say that this may lead to a propensity for obesity later in life. No evidence of that here in America.

Her caregivers from the orphanage told us that Lillia also could eat steamed rice and congi (or rice porridge), but this of course did not add much in the way of variety to her diet. And with a maximum of one caregiver per 10 babies, it is a good bet that Lillia did not get much practice at eating table food, but is quite talented in swinging around a bottle.

Suzanne was horrified by the flavor of the baby food that was served in jars to Lillia on the was back to the States, and resolved to make her own. She has cooked up sweet potatoes and carrots and apple sauce which she has frozen and cut into cubes, that we then thaw and heat and serve as needed. We try giving Lillia small amounts 2-3 times per day, prior to her bottle and she is getting better and better at taking food from a spoon and swallowing, rather than pushing the food out of her mouth with her tongue.

Our pediatrician, blessings be upon her, has told us that we can switch to milk and widen her diet when she turns one year old. We are looking forward to this, but will avoid the peanut butter and strawberry sandwiches with oyster sauce for now in our bid to avoid food allergies.

Meanwhile, we place our ears up to her tummy nightly to listen for the sound of those tight junctions tightening, closing down the spaces between the cells of her gut where errant proteins can wander by and cause problems with allergies.

More Pictures:

Lillia, lounging on the couch.

Is mommy's nose edible?

Sunscreen makes excellent mousse.

In front of her blanket knitted by our friend Sandy.

Lilia enjoys dressing like her toys.

Doctors, Sleep, and Hats

We love our pediatrician, who is very competent and caring and warm. Still, Lillia does not like going to the doctor. Certain things she deals with well: the waiting room with its toys and wide-open carpeting, the crinkly paper on the exam table. She is less impressed by ear-cleaning and aural examinations of any sort, and by hypodermic syringe-wielding nurses (a tough job) with their so-called “immunizations,” and especially by 25-guage “butterfly”-packing phlebotomists, tasked to collect the seven tubes of blood called for in all her tests. During that massacre, involving two phlebotomists, two parents enlisted as human restraints, and one amazingly strong and limber little girl who was not going to go down alone or without a fight, we got 4 of the 7 tubes in three attempts and called it a day. The Hep B test will have to wait until next time.

Lillia also is not overly fond of going to sleep. It interrupts her play. When we first adopted her in Guangzhou, we had a crib in our room of course, but opted to sleep with her between us in our bed to try to increase bonding. Of course she cried when we turned out the lights, and then cried for the next hour, screaming something about stupid gwailos and being unable to find her toys in the dark. After a few nights of this and a significant amount of hearing loss, mommy and daddy thought she might do better in her crib, and she did. This is, after all, how she went to sleep for the first 10 months of her life. Still we spent several hours pushing her around and around in her stroller, as this was a sure fire way to lull her to sleep when all else failed. Once we were half-way around the world, jet lag took its incredible toll but she eventually did come around, and started sleeping when it is dark and playing when it is light.

Once Lillia does go to sleep, she is down for the count. Currently she cries for about 60 seconds before sleeping when placed in her crib. I am not sure how long she will sleep if I let her because we always wake her up after 9-10 hours to give her her bottle and to make sure she is still breathing. The girl sleeps like a cat. We try to get her to take 2 naps during the day for 2 hours each with varying success.

Ah, and then there are hats. The most fiendish of clothing devices, hats, mommy and daddy say, are meant to protect her skin from the solar flare that is the Colorado sky. Lillia knows better, feeling they are, in fact, an affront to her personal freedom. They get ejected from the stroller approximately 17 times per hour when walking with mommy and daddy. It is a good thing her sunscreen is SPF 45.

Despite this list of dislikes, we are certain that Lillia is the happiest little girl on the planet, laughing and smiling constantly (well, almost constantly), winning new friends wherever she goes. She certainly makes us happy.

Some pictures:

Lillia with her fiercy-face expression. Suzanne calls Lillia her tiger-lily when she is in this mood. I think that Lillia simply has the heart of a lion.

Lillia with her Aunt Betsy and her Uncle Henry on Easter.

Lillia and me in front of Suzanne's beautiful garden berm.

We send our love to all.

Tom and Suzanne.

Denver

Tom here. A quick post as Lillia is attached to me by Snugli and does not seem to approve of this whole blogging thing and wants to push the computer keys herself anyway.

We stopped in Walnut Creek for a few days on the way back to Denver to visit my mother, my brothers Greg and Jack and Jack's family, and many friends who were among our cheering section. Left my power supply plugged in at the White Swan, took a bit of time to track down a new one and find the time to buy it, then was without an easy internet connection.

So now I am home and have even less time (wonder why?). But will post a blog entry and some photos.

---ahh, peace. She is now asleep.---

The oath taken at the US Consulate was a mass affair with dozens of families where we essentially declared that the information we had provided authorities was essentially correct to the best of our knowledge. Dutifully attested to by the several dozen families in the room, we were released to return to our hotels and travel back to the States. I understand now, given the utilitarian nature of the room, reminding one of a DMV more than anything else, why we were told we needn't dress for the event. No photos here. Cameras were not allowed for security reasons.

A picture of the bus next to ours that was taking us back to the airport for our flight to Hong Kong, then home. Funny, that bus color really isn't "Yale blue."

Starting our flight back to Hong Kong. Lillia got quite a bit of sleep during the 20 plus hours of travel, in lap seat comfort. Suzanne and I on the other hand, were very much available for Zombie duty. Lillia made friends at every step of the way. It is amazing how babies can start a conversation.

Lillia in a new sporting coat for rainy weather that my Mom, her new grandmother, had bought her for the deluge that California was experiencing on our trip back through the Bay Area.


Two pictures of dad and grandma catching a few winks. Lillia had major problems adjusting to the new sleeping schedule and was often up until 3 AM or later. Guanzhou is more than half-way around the world and the jet lag was fierce. Sleeping at night is still Lillia's biggest issue.

Suzanne and Lillia at Heather Farms in Walnut Creek on a rare sunny day.

Lillia, decked out for a life of sunshine and back in Denver, on her way to the Botanic Gardens with Mom and Dad.

I want to thank my mom and my brothers Jack (and his family) and Greg, for their help during our visit, and also I want to thank all of our friends who visited us while we passed through Walnut Creek.

Lillia is sleeping as I write this and with luck will sleep through the night. More later.

Tom

Foundlings

Many events: A tour of Guangzhou including a stop at a local temple where the babies were blessed by a Buddhist monk, then the next day a trip with three other families to the orphanage in Yangchun, and a visit to where each of the foundling babies were abandoned.

Lillia was left in a cardboard box in front of the Yangchun insurance building; one baby was left in front of Middle School Number 2, one was left at Middle School Number 4, and one was left in front of the local hospital. Each of the mothers abandoned their babies in public places so that they would be found quickly, though this is not without risk, as abandoning your baby is of course illegal.

The Pearl River from our 11th floor room on a typical day. At least the rain has stopped.

Suzanne and Lillia in front of said window.

Lillia and Tom in front of the temple just following the blessing.

Us in front of the orphanage at Yangchun.

The insurance building where Lillia (AKA Chun Hua Lu) was found. All of the babies from our orphanage were named "Chun Hua _____". Her first name was randomly chosen from the dictionary, per her caregivers. They say there are just too many babies to do otherwise.

The three of us in front of the insurance building.

Chinese women who stopped at our bus to admire Lillia, who has apparently much to recommend her.

Landscape near Yangchun. There is a national geologic park there reminiscent of Guilin.

A sign at the entrance to our local park next to the Pearl River and the hotel. Many people in the park practising Tai Chi, ballroom dancing, singing, fishing (!). Not much spitting here but in other parts of the city it was very much a pastime.


Some pictures of Lillia and Tom at breakfast this morning.

Tomorrow (Friday) we are off to the American Consulate with all the other parents and babies to take our oath, then flying to Hong Kong and San Francisco on Saturday.

Love, Tom and Suzanne

More Pictures

Some more pictures, all here in Guangzhou, all at the White Swan Hotel where we are staying, except for the last, which is of us with Lillia's caregivers from the orphanage. Click on any image to make it larger.